Wednesday, March 28, 2012

TheVern Reviews: Goon


Cast: Sean William Scott, Alison Pill
Writers: Jay Baruchel,Evan Goldberg(Screenplay),Adam Frattasio, Doug Smith(Story)
Director: Michael Dowse

0 *'s out of four.

There is a song from Warren Zevon called "Hit Somebody(The Hockey Song)" that tells the story of a goon who would rather be scoring points than busting heads.  While watching this movie, I was half hoping to hear it being used because in one section it does use some of the lyrics of that song in the plot.  The problem is that the song is way more entertaining than this flick. "The Goon" wants to be both a raunchy comedy and a heartwarming story, which is fine.  Except the movie tends to have both genres going back and forth a lot and none of these characters are really that likable either.

Doug Glatt(Sean William Scott) is a simple minded bouncer at a bar who dreams of being good at something. His chance comes while at a hockey game with his friend Ryan(Jay Baruchel) he gets into a fight with another player. A hockey promoter sees that same fight and asks him to join their team as a Goon. A Goon (in case you didn't know) is a man who protects the players who can score by beating the shit out of every player of the opposing team. Glatt enjoys being part of the team but sometimes wishes he could be the one scoring points. The Goon does by chance happen to meet a girl named Eva(Alison Pill) who assures him that she is the worst girlfriend but Doug still loves her anyways and keeps trying to win her affections. With Glatt fighting, the team can't lose but the final game would put him in the same rink as Ross Rhea(Liev Schreiber) the most famous Goon in all of Canada.

(Movie Trailer: Courtesy of Magnet Entertainment)

I don't like to say this, but there is nothing good about this movie. The comedy is very weak with a lot of bad one-liners. All of the characters are just one note who are mainly there to keep the story going. In all movies the main character either goes though a change or they help make changes in someones life. This movie does neither. The character of Doug Glatt is a very innocent almost childlike man who has a talent for beating people up. It's obvious he is still a virgin and may have some phobias about sex but the movie never addresses those issues. The whole love story between Doug and Eva felt fake right from the start. I guess the filmmakers were hoping they would get more girls to see it if they tacked on a love story. The reason why any of these two would be in love is never explained. It's obvious that both are bad for each other but this movie wants to you to believe otherwise.  The movie also adds a lot of soft music cues when it wants to be a sentimental scene and hard rock and rap when it wants to be a light hearted and fun. It's almost like the director is just using music to get us to feel emotions for these characters and situations instead of having the story or the actors do that job themselves.

This was based on a real story and I would have much rather watched a documentary about the real life person than watch this. There is a moment during the closing credits that shows the actual fights and interviews with the real guy that I found completely compelling. Way more compelling and interested than I found watching this.


  1. In the end, it's the less high-scoring offspring of the 1977 classic Slap Shot, but to even mention it in that movie's company is praise enough. Seann William Scott is also great and plays a character that I never knew he could play so dang well. Good review Vern.

  2. Thank you very much for the comment Dan.

    I agree with you about Seann William Scott. That character is different fom the usual ones he plays. I just never found him to be sentimental or that bright. For example he falls head over heels in love with Eva too quick. She dunkingly makes out with him and he thinks that they are now a couple.

  3. I hated this, too.
    And I'm always down for dumbass comedy. I did give it points for violence though. The fights delivered when every other aspect didn't.

    1. Thank you for this comment. I am glad that there are others who hated this flick as much as I did.

  4. Michael Kors handbags can now be found on many discounted sites for fractions of retail prices. The best option for individuals wanting to own Michael Kors handbags is to shop at online discount stores. A great place to shop for these luxury bags is eBay.
    Friendly Links: Michael Kors Handbags Sale Clearance | Michael Kors Outlet Store

  5. Michael Kors Handbags On Sale,
    You can find Michael Kors handbags in many department stores around the country.
    Michael Kors Purses Outlet,
    They are being seen all over the place.
    Michael Kors Bags On Sale,
    There are so many fabulous handbags to fall in love with.
    MK Handbags,
    To find these amazing handbags you can also shop online for all your Michael Kors products.