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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

This Means War: Late Review






This Means War

Cast:  Tom Hardy, Reese Witherspoon

Writers:  Timothy Dowling, Simon Kinberg, Marcus Gautesen

Director: Mc G


CRAP




Mixing together an action movie and a romantic comedy is not easy.  The only movie that was able to succesfully blend both genres right was "True Lies".  It had just the right amount of ballance between the two, and as an audience member you bought into it because the characters were so well writen and you liked them.   "This Means War" has none of those features.  Every character is shallow and vain, and everything they do is just to move the story along and nothing else.



The movie introduces us to FDR Foster(Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy).  Two best friends who are agents at a goverment facility.  It looked  more like the "Men In Black" work there than Fedeal agents, but I can let that one slide.  Foster is more of the ladies man, by which I mean he fucks a lot, while Tuck really just wants to have a steady relationship.  He puts his profile on a dating website and ends up meeting Lauren (Reese Witherspoon).  Great now these criminals you're investigating can no go after the women your dating.  Really smart move Einstein.  After their date Lauren runs into FDR at a video store, and after a few rough starts they begin dating   Soon she is in the middle of a love triangle and doesn't know who to choose.  Meanwhile both men try their best to sabotage the other's chances with the lady.  They even manage to use the classic song from  The Beastie Boys' embarrassingly as well.




Both men in this are pretty awful.  They sneak into this girl's place when she's at home to plant audio and video bugs.  Her personal records and files are easily exposed and they behave like little twelve year old boys than actual men by plaing pranks on eachother.  The woman they are fighting over is not a real prize either.  Yeah she may look great, but she isn't concerned about finding real love.  Just how she appears to other people. It really doesn't matter who she does get involved with just as long as other people know about it.   There is a scene where she ends a date with FDR early because she feels like she is being used, but than turns around and uses him to make an ex boyfriend jealous.  What a manipulative bitch.


Near The end there comes a moment where Lauren finds out that both men knew about her all along and this is where she could have redeemed herself by walking away from both of them  However since she is  afraid of being alone a choice has to be made.  It doesn't matter what guy she ends up with because she is clearly not ready for any relationship. 





"This Means War" has way too many tired cliches for this to be truely enjoyable.  I'm sure the studio wanted to have both genres so that they could get both men and women into the theaters, but all this movie manages to do is insult their intelligence.

18 comments:

  1. You know the movie is going to be bad when the girl is taking advice from Chelsea Handler.

    I hate that bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The whole movie Chelsea Handler's character is harping on Reese Witherspoon to have sex with both men, and then at the end she tries to say that marriage and monogamy is better. Just one of many rants I have about this flick. Thanks for reading

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aww, I actually liked this movie. Yes, it wasn't a great movie (by any stretch of the imagination); it was horribly cliched and had as much depth as a puddle of water. However I really liked all the scenes between Pine and Hardy which I found really funny. I thought they played off each other well. I would have never guessed that Hardy (who is a really good actor in his own right) could do comedy at all. Maybe 'cuz I had so low of an expectation going in?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shala I agree that it was nice to see that Tom Hardy can do comedy, but I wish he would have chosen a different movie to showcase this. I just did not like the characters that Pine and Hardy portrayed. They just really didn't give me much to root for I think it was that ending that really made me hate this movie, but I appreciate you took time to comment on my review. Thank you very much.

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